Love Letter I
I wrote you over time.
I could never explain or put my thoughts into words,
the way leaving you made me feel.
After you, I was lost and no love seemed real.
Since my fear
led me to believe that I had lost you.
I wanted to start off small.
So the thought came to me:
I should start by completing a letter
for the first time.
Because in the past
tears would stop me
Only making more time pass.
Let me start by saying it is amazing
how your love letter to this day
is all I need to feed my soul.
But what was I doing desiring you back?
I was the one who left you.
Here I am pleading for you to let me return.
Please take me back!
I tried so hard to replace you.
Once I left you
But still I stood there
for that feeling
that only you could give.
by those who claimed they loved me
I learned how to take
each disappointment with stride.
Just adding each one up to all my reasons why.
Why I would never give my heart away?
Why I would never trust again?
Why if I fall in love there would be rules
from beginning to end?
So I set patient
trying to have love like the one I left.
But there was no substitution,
Replacing you with men
who knew nothing
about how I was falling apart.
But could only touch pieces
of my broken heart.
Not one of them knew
how to value my spirit or soul.
They didn’t understand my start.
Please forgive me.
I’m exhausted and need to come home.