Asking Sunshine: Possibly Jealous

Asking Sunshine!

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Hi Sunshine,

My boyfriend recently called me jealous.  I don’t think that my concern is unrealistic because of the things I found in his phone.  Shouldn’t I be upset if my boyfriend has a new female coworker’s number in his phone saved? Mind you, this girl just started working there and they are not in the same department.  Do you think I have cause for concern or am I overreacting?

Dear Possibly Jealous,

You are truly the only person that can answer this question for your relationship.  I am not going to say you have no cause for concern, but you have to make sure you have all the correct information.  Sometimes we see information emotionally and will dwell on how the information makes us feel versus what it might truly mean.  Think about it like this, you may not like him having a female coworker’s telephone number, but what if he actually needs it to complete his work?  If that is the case, you need to consider that you may need to work on your jealousy.  Remember jealousy can be a true relationship killer.

Quick tip to deal with jealousy

Simply believe your partner.  Sounds silly right, but the truth is, trust is the cornerstone to a healthy relationship.  Taking a person at their word is how you display trust.  It can be quite annoying to have a partner constantly doubting your every word.  Yes, I know that is easier said than done, but try it.  If the person lies to you, then respond to that specific lie and determine if the trust has been broken.  If so, you can work on that as a couple or break up and move on.

 

ASKING SUNSHINE

Are you torn, unsure what to do next let Sunshine offer you some advice on addressing the maintenance and improvement of interpersonal skills, relationships (intimate, friendship and more). You can direct your questions to sharea@radiantsunshine.org , please put “Asking Sunshine” in the subject line or if you are interested in being anonymous to me as well, you can submit your question to http://qooh.me/AskSunshine
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